Not sure what you were thinking I meant by the “c”-word, but I am of course referring to being…. “cheap”. 

Now before you answer that question, let’s be clear what we are talking about here.  When I talk about being cheap, I am talking about being thrifty, or cost conscience.  I am not talking about being cheap “to other people”.  Ripping someone off or shorting someone something that they are owed is universally accepted as a bad way to be.  And I would never advocate for that.  But being “cheap” or cost conscience is another matter. 

So back to the question, how do you feel about being labeled cheap (the cost focused one)?

I think on some level, most people have an aversion to being thought of in this way by others.  There is certainly a negative stigma around the word in our culture.  I remember growing up and watching the movie Rain Man with Dustin Hoffman and Tom Cruise.  There was a famous scene where Dustin’s Hoffman’s character (Raymond), who is the autistic brother of Charlie (played by Tom Cruise), asks to go to Kmart so he can buy the underwear he is used to.  After several frustrating conversations on the topic, the abrasive and selfish Charlie “educates” his bother by explaining that Kmart “sucks”.

A great movie and a great scene.  Though probably not great for Kmart.  I am sure the scene did irreparable damage to its image.  I was about 10 years old when the movie came out, and I can still remember being dragged through our local Kmart by my parents as I sheepishly ducked my head and hoped that no one I knew saw me there.  At that age I was very in-tune with what others thought of me.  So the thought of being labeled “cheap” by shopping at Kmart was not something that would help my reputations with the cool kids or the fancy girls I hoped to be with.

But as I grew up, instead of gravitating towards the hip crowd, I found myself more comfortable with the nerdy group.  The group of kids that was more interested in playing video games than driving the fanciest cars or wearing the best clothes.  Much like Raymond coveted his Kmart underwear, I was most comfortable with my similarly awkward group of friends.

But even among this group of pretty down to earth kids, I was a bit of an outlier.  In fact, some of my closest friends considered me a bit different.  In fact, they often referred to me as being a bit of a “simpleton”.  Doesn’t exactly sound enduring right?  They called me that because in just about everything I did, I gravitated towards things, people and places that were plain, ordinary, or simple.

Let me give you a few examples.  When we would head out to the bar, most of my buddies wanted to go to the popular places that had the biggest selection of beverages.  Me…. I preferred the hole is the wall place that we frequented most often.  I preferred back then, and continue today, to prefer the place where we knew the waitress and she knew us.  And I never needed a menu (because there were only a handful of beers to choose from). 

As for the beer we drank, my friends would love to sample all the new and exotic craft beers, regardless of the cost.  I admit it, my buddy’s beer selection gave them an air of sophistication that I lacked.  But I was content to drink my favorite… Bud Light. Not much sophistication there.  But it tastes good.  Not too many calories and the cheapest one on draft.

My simplistic nature showed up in other ways too.  When we went on spring break, my buddies wanted to stay at some of the nicer hotels.  They enjoyed the granite counters in the bathrooms, the scenic views from the balcony, or the high ceilings in the lobby.  Me…. I couldn’t care less about that stuff.  I figured most of our time would be spent away from the hotel.  Why pay a premium for fancy stuff that doesn’t belong to me and that I would only experience for small portion of my vacation?

When we went out for a meal, you can probably guess what I wanted to do.  I was very happy to eat at one of the local diners or get some bar food.  But many times I was out-voted for one of the fancier establishments with things like oysters or duck a l’orange.  Don’t get me wrong, duck is pretty darn tasty.  And I am a sucker for some clams.  But those items are more for a special occasion.  I am just as happy with my chicken Caesar salad, and it’s a lot less expensive as well.  

My simple mindedness carried over into my adult life.  The first car I bought after graduating was a used Mercury Cougar.  Cost me $11,500.  It did not have much cache and I certainly didn’t get a lot of compliments about it.  But that was fine by me.  It got me where I needed to go, and got about 30 miles to the gallon, which was good at the time.

I am pretty lucky that my wife seems to dig simpletons.  “Dig” might be a bit of a stretch, but she does not seem turned off by it.  From the day I met her, she has never seemed to flinch at any of my lifestyles choices.  Perhaps it has to do with her up-bringing.  She comes from a down to earth, middle class family with modest financial resources.  So growing up she learned to appreciate the simple things in life and never developed much of a taste for anything fancy or overly expensive.

When we planned our wedding, our top priorities were to invite all the people that were important to us.  But we were never temped to break the bank.  Plus we took pride in paying for everything ourselves.  No need for our families that did not have much money to have to kick in substantial amounts to pay for our choices.  So we did our wedding on a Sunday afternoon.  And served only draft beer.  You guessed it…. Bud Light.  Very simply and well within our budget.  The perfect “simple” wedding.  Still one of the best days of our lives.

My wife and I kept up with that way of life up to this very moment.  We do not live in a fancy house or drive fancy cars, even though we could easily afford those things.  So I am sure you get where I am going with all of this.  Being “simple” in my life has served me extremely well.  Especially with my finances.    

In contrast, most people today strive to live a more extravagant and sophisticated life, often coming with significant complexity.  They work hard all year at their jobs to take expensive vacations.  They think splurging on a fancy hotel is their reward for their efforts and will enhance their time off.  Not realizing that spending all that money is the reason they have to work so hard all year in the first place. Their lavish spending leads to needing to work harder and longer.  They stretch to afford the biggest and nicest car they can drive, just to have to work more hours to keep the gas tank full and pay for the pricy insurance that goes with it.  And we all think that is normal.

It seems so silly to me.  What also seems silly is an apparent contradiction that I see related to this every day.

What I am talking about is that while there is a negative stigma around being cheap, people tend to respect feats of strength and endurance in the physical sense. If someone tells you they wake up everyday at 5am to run 5 miles, we see that as an impressive exercise of willpower.  If someone goes to the gym every night after work and lifts weights for 45 minutes, that is considered badass.  Something to be celebrated and admired.  It makes sense because these people are doing something hard, that not everyone is willing to do.  Plus these physically hard-workers are rewarded for their sacrifice.  They are getting stronger, faster, or healthier.  They choose to work hard, sacrifice, engage in a productive activity… and get rewarded.

And such activity should be respected.  But my question is why don’t we consider a financial sacrifice the same way?  To me, there are a lot of similarities with making simple financial choices as there is with engaging in physical activities such as exercising.  They both require us to do something hard, or less desirable.  Things that most average people wouldn’t want to do.  And we get rewarded for them by improving our lives. 

Personally, when I hear someone push to do the hard thing when it saves precious resources, I take notice and respect those actions and many times try to incorporate them into my own life.  Do you ever take the middle seat in coach when you fly on a commercial airline?  Not if you can help it I am sure you are saying to yourself.  Me neither.  But what if doing so saves you $100 or gets you to your destination 2 hours earlier?  Is it worth it then?  Or do you prefer a pampered aisle seat in comfort plus or gasp….. first class? 

What about the person who takes a trip by plane and pays $25 for the inflight wifi so they could watch their favorite show on Netflix.  Is that something to be viewed favorably, or instead is it the person that brought a book on the flight and read for 2 hours?  My props go to the guy with his book.

How about the person who packs his lunch to eat at the office instead of doing the easy thing and running out to a restaurant for lunch?  I can tell you where my respect goes. 

Or the person who parks several blocks away and walks to their destination instead of the person who digs into their wallet to pay top dollar and avoid the hassle.  I bet I know which of these two people are in better shape…. And who’s bank account is bigger. 

So in doing these more difficult tasks, the person earned a reward.  Saving money.  It makes us strong and builds our bank account.  And yet most people would consider them being ….cheap, or something undesirable.

Again… seems inconsistent and crazy to me.  I am proud of my ability to be content with my simplistic nature.  I love taking walks, reading books, or making my own food at home instead of eating out.  I love mowing my own lawn, or parking my own car.  I am content to bring my lunch to the office and drive my 10 year old car.  And the reward from these behaviors is that I am rich.  Both because my bank account is huge and because my living expenses are low. 

So back to the question of this article… does it bother you being called cheap? 

The truth is that it used to bother me.  But then I realized being simple or cheap really means doing more with less.  It is striving for efficiency, and the road less traveled.  It is something to be celebrated, not ashamed of.

So I say, let’s all show some respect to those that demonstrate feats of financial strength.  And let’s push ourselves to do more of them.  And be proud of ourselves in the process.  Regardless of what the world thinks….

I saved the quote for last this time….

“That man is richest whose pleasures are cheapest.”

– Henry David Thoreau